I recently got the diagnosis of ADD and ADHD (the combined type). Throughout the years I fought hard for acceptance and awareness around Aspergers, only to find out that I don’t fit into the spectrum (anymore). It had me go through a lot of anger and I was confused just because I had my Aspergers wrapped around my life, creating a lot of boundaries I would never cross. I lived in a box and wouldn’t come out of it. I found out that there actually is a lot of awareness and acceptance around Aspergers already, but none whatsoever on ADHD. The things I continuously hear make me cringe. I will write something about ADD and ADHD every so now and then to explain more about our (or rather my) brain. I don’t think inside the box, I don’t think outside the box either. I don’t even know where the box is. Welcome to simply ADHD.
Huh?! That’s what I first thought when I received my diagnosis. My psychiatrist told me that they couldn’t place me in the new spectrum of Autism (I was diagnosed with Aspergers in my teenage years) which hit me like a truck. How the flying ** was I diagnosed with Aspergers and now I suddenly don’t fit in the spectrum anymore? Just when I started to accept myself having Aspergers someone tells me I can’t, because I simply don’t have it. Now I think of it nearly a year later, I can’t really place myself in the typical spectrum of Autism either.
Jessica McCabe spoke about ADHD at TedxBratislava and said something that made me cry and feel normal. She tells me something I needed to hear for years and years. She reminded me that it’s not about the diagnosis, but about me. If a fish can’t climb a tree and is continuously judged by it’s ability to climb a tree you’ll never know how far he might be able to swim. I was told that I HAVE to learn to climb a tree, otherwise I wouldn’t fit in with the rest of the birds. I never really felt like being a bird but whenever I told people, they laughed at me. I made myself not only climb a tree for years, but also the tallest tree in the universe. This made it impossible for myself to be ‘normal’, I just couldn’t. Jessica explained it so well because she has been through the same for years, until she realised that her/our brains just work differently. We’re fish, not birds.
This made me realise that I have a gift; I’m different. I love being different, but because of my perfectionism I wanted to be like everyone else because it looked perfect to me. It’s not easy to always think this way, but I think writing about it will help a lot. And maybe help others as well.
”Society is our users manual. We learn how our brains and bodies work by watching those around us. And when yours works differently, it can feel like you’re broken.
You are not weird. You are not stupid. You do not need to try harder. You are not a failed version of normal. You are different, you are beautiful and you are not alone.
I you do have ADHD, welcome to the tribe.”
ADHD isn’t about people who;
‘‘Won’t stop fidgeting”
”Gets distracted easily”
”Keep procrastinating or don’t care”
”Aren’t trying hard enough”
This is the first post, or rather introduction, to something new on Reautiful. I want to share my own vision on ADHD. I’m going to write more about certain subjects, such as planning for example. I hope I can get other people to understand more about ADHD and stop seeing it as something negative and help people with ADHD to get inspired (plus they will be able to laugh at my own experiences because they can probably relate to it).
Live, love & do not forget to laugh!